Ketchuping Up with the Heinz-Kerrys

When he hits the campaign trail, John Kerry often speaks of his belief that the rich don't pay there fair share of taxes. Ironically, he need not even venture from the house to preach his manifesto. He can simply turn to his wife to deliver this sermon. You see, his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry possesses assets reportedly worth at least one billion dollars thanks to funds she inherited upon the untimely death of her husband, Republican Senator John Heinz (of the Heinz Ketchup Family). However, she only reported five million dollars of income for 2003. For those of you on the Florida Supreme Court, that amounts to only a one-half of one percent return (0.5%) on a billion dollars of investments. This indicates only one of two possibilities. Either the Kerry's are the worst financial managers since the advent of the Social Security Administration or they are engaging in a little bit of tax evasion.

Unfortunately, no one knows the truth except Kerry because he has refused to release records of their finances contrary to the standards of full disclosure upheld by virtually every presidential candidate in modern history. WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO HIDE! We peasants can only speculate on the nature of this big secret. Is Kerry trying to avoid embarrassment due to investments in the hated Halliburton? Do they have holdings in tobacco, gun manufacturers or corporate polluters? Maybe they have investments in the Carlyle Group and they are afraid that, if it is revealed, Michael Moore might make a documentary linking them to the Saudi Royal Family and Osama Bin Laden (not likely). The most troubling suspicion of all is that Teresa may have given money to at least one radical Islamic group. This hunch is being investigated by some.

In the meantime, we serfs have no choice but to keep our noses to the grindstone, work hard and keep paying our taxes to catchup (or is it ketchup) for the taxes that the Kerry Family is evading.

John Kerry did not earn his way into the elite and selective group of the super-wealthy. He married up. Predictably, It is no surprise that no proposal that he has advanced taxes wealth. Thus, the billions held by his wife will not be affected. Instead, he has said that in his first 100 days as President (God help us) he will raise taxes only on income. What Kerry has revealed is that his tax policy will be especially hard on small businesses. These are the same businesses that employ the vast majority of the rest of us.
 
Post Script:  With his VP selection, Kerry has clearly decided to stick with a theme.  John Edwards is a multi-millionaire who made his fortune not by earning it but rather by suing it out of others.  He also set up a dummy corporation (with him, John Edwards,  as the only member of the corporation) in order to avoid Medicare and  Social Security taxes.